The 2006 Lyttle Lytton Contest #

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The 2006 Winners

The mega beasts were united by only one thing: their size.

His eyes were brown, although you wouldn’t know it just by looking.

quoted by Dan Shiovitz

I just recently came off a trip to the Far East, and it struck me that I was in a region of the world where wars had started.

George W. Bush

Thus, going forward, I will be dividing the contest into two divisions, one for original entries and one for found ones. As for this year, the winner of the 2006 Lyttle Lytton Contest is:

This is the cipher key for all that follows: ▎ ▏ ▏ ▎ ▏ ▏ ▏ ▎ ▏ !

P. Scott Hamilton

Dora liked to explore.

Nicole Dickison

Does the dance of love have to be a dairy of romantic sonnets; can it not be a Haiku and still be sensually poetic?

Sue Randolph

“The hero has cancer,” thought the doctor grimly.

Jon Pile

And maybe throw in another one for:

Bill’s goiter had burst and it was on my head, Mary thought quietly.

Jim McGarva

“I can’t!” screamed Jake to whomever was outside the airplane’s single lavatory.

Neil Haven

Of course, not every winning entry relied on ambiguity. This one conjures up a very clear mental picture:

Cries of “Ahoy!” broke the turgid silence of the golf course; the Cap’n approached.

anonymous

Eventually I’m going to get tired of the “unnecessary clarification” gag, but apparently it still works for me:

James took Mary’s hand—not in matrimony just yet, but plain physically—and led her to the altar.

Jonas Sjöqvist

I woke up shuddering; my soul was now dead inside.

Daniel Koning

Everyone in the year 2020 knows about nanobots!

Ben Syverson

The evil Intergalactic Emperor surveyed the destruction he wrought. “Booyah!” he cried with glee. “I’m in ur base! I’m killing all ur mans!”

James Wall

“And that’s when I stabbed her in the face,” Jake finished. The rest of the support group looked on in horror and abject confusion. They weren’t sure what this had to do with testicular cancer, but they knew it had to be bad.

Amanda Teager

On November the 22^nd, 1963, an innocent man by the name of Lee Harvey Oswald stood inside the Texas School Book Depository, burdened with the knowledge of what would soon happen, but with no way that he could possibly prevent it. Seconds later an American presidency was destroyed. He never had a chance to tell his story. This is his story.

Daniel Koning

Dear Mister Spray:
I am writing to you to inform you of your son’s death. What follows were his last words.

Steven Dasheiff

But hey, as long as we're handing out Montfort Medals, why not finish with Nick himself?

The door dilated1.

1This is in the future, when doors dilate instead of opening the way they do now.

Nick Montfort

And that just about wraps it up for this year. See you in ’07!